


Everything you want on the other side of fear.

by inzomnia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 10:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13362249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inzomnia/pseuds/inzomnia
Summary: Liam dreams of the anuk-ite even after its gone. He dreams that it comes after him, chases him, tries with all its might to get him to open his eyes and look at it. For a while liam doesn't, his willpower, and need to stay alive allowed him to resist the monsters taunts. Until one day, months later when he's so worn down from the nightmares he suffers every night, he gives in. And then the world feels like it's being ripped apart around him as he gazes back into the eyes of his one true fear. The person standing there is nothing but somehow everything he expected.





	Everything you want on the other side of fear.

_He’s running through the school, like every other night, sprinting through the seemingly never ending corridor that twists and distorts right in front of his eyes. Hes tired and feels so incredibly alone as he stops and hunches over his knees and gasps for breath. Hes sick of this, the endless running, because he knows he'll never get away no matter how hard he tries, he can't escape the nightmare._

_The Anuk-ite in his dreams has been trying for months to get him to look at it, and even though Liam is fully aware he's dreaming, sometimes it feels a little to real so he never does. He ignores the taunts and jabs the creacher throws at him, keeping his eyes clamped shut, remembering the horrible fate the people who looked at it before had suffered. He doesn't want to end up like them, he can't, not when he's finally so happy outside of this nightmare. Awake he has the love of his life, his soulmate waiting for him that he couldn't bare the thought of parting with. Theo is the thing that makes suffering through these horrors worth it, because he knows when he wakes up, he'll be surrounded by warmth._

_Liam finds himself smiling slightly before he's reminded he really shouldn't be letting his guard down here. He's suddenly being flung into some lockers that crunch and bend from the impact, he groans in pain, but keeps his eyes firmly shut. Images flash in his mind, a beautiful face cast in a golden morning light. He finds the strength to push himself up off the ground, plants his feet stubbornly, and braces himself for the next hit._

_‘You’ll see me eventually.’ The Anuk-ite croaks._

Liam flinches as the familiar feeling of falling takes over him and suddenly he’s bolting upright in bed, breathing heavy. He hears heavy footsteps bounding up the stairs, then the door to the bedroom is being flung open and a worried Theo is at his side before he even has a chance to blink. 

‘Liam baby, are you okay?’ He asks, sucking in a breath as Liam simply shakes his head as he drops it to Theo’s shoulder, the other boy soothes a hand over his back before bringing it up to settle at the back of his neck, craideling him there as Liam sobs. ‘I’m so sorry Li, I should have been here, I- I just wanted to make us some breakfast.’ He says after a few minutes. 

The scent of burning bacon fills Liam’s senses as Theo says that, and suddenly he can’t stop a small bubble of laughter from escaping his mouth. He looks up at his mates confused expression, reaching up to cup is face in both hands before leaning in to kiss him gently, it tasted like salt but Theo doesn’t seem to mind. It was amazing how calm he felt just having Theo so close, the chimera didn’t have to do anything big, he made Liam feel better by just being around. 

‘I love you,’ Liam states warmly, Theo stared back at him with dazed but loving expression on his face. ‘but I think our breakfast might be burning.’ Liam watches as he cocks his head to the side, nostrils flaring and eyes widening when he caught on. 

‘Shit,’ Theo cursed as he jumped from the bed and ran out the door again, but not a second later he was popping his head back around, ‘I love you too.’ He winked and ran off again, leaving Liam chuckling as he moved to get dressed. His nightmare was still in the back of his mind as always, but with Theo around, he had more important things to focus on. 

————

Liam lays awake, he can feel the warm heat radiating from Theo’s body where he’s wrapped himself around the smaller boys back. He takes comfort in the rhythmic sound of his breathing and the pitter-patter of his heart, letting his eyes slip closed and the darkness take over. 

_Running through the same corridor almost every night really does get exhausting, Liam’s strong, but he’s still somewhat human after all. He ducks into the next classroom on his right hoping for a chance to regain some strength. His back hits the door and he slides down to a sitting position, keeping his legs tucked in front of him. He reaches up to feel the still healing gash on his cheek and his fingertips come back sticky with blood._

_His attention is caught by movement in front of him, he lifts his head, keeping his eyes shut just in case. Tuning into his enhanced hearing, he tries to get a feel for what kind of classroom he’s in. But there’s no sound to bounce of the walls, it’s completely silent and it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end._

_‘Liam,’ an all to familiar voice croaks, ‘Liam look at me!’ It screams._

_He can tell it’s close, he can feel spit landing on his face and it makes him recoil even more in disgust. It smells like rotting flesh and blood. Liam can feel it, it’s just crouched down in front of him, rotten breath fanning over his face, waiting for him to make the first move. So he does._

_Supernaturally fast, he punches the Anuk-ite in the jaw and uses the moment of surprise to stand and push away from the door. He listens intently to the creachers coughs and splutters, confusion swirling through him as the sounds turn into menacing laughter._

_‘I haven’t seen that kind of fight from you in a while Liam,’ it cackles, ‘I want to show you something.’_

_‘I wont open my eyes.’ Liam states darkly._

_‘Not even for me?’ A different voice asks, and Liam knows that voice, he would know that voice anywhere. But before he can look to confirm it, the Anuk-ite is cackling again and he feels dizzy._

————

‘THEO?’ He finds himself screaming as he jumps awake, there’s arms around his bare waist immediately this time pulling him back down and he struggles in the tight grasp for a second before a familiar scent of cinnamon washes over him, instantly calming, letting his limbs relax. 

‘Open your eyes baby wolf, it’s just me.’ The voice is soothing, like velvet trailing over every inch of his body and it makes Liam shiver slightly.

‘I can’t.’ He whispers.

‘Not even for me?’ It’s said in a completely different way, joking where the other time it was taunting. But hearing those words still has Liam almost falling as he scrambles to get away from the bed. Because it’s the same voice as in his dream, and Liam doesn’t want to think about what that means.

Before running out the door, he looks back at Theo, his eyes are dulled with hurt and it makes Liam want to go to him. But he doesn’t, his body won’t let him. So instead he runs. 

————

He’s been avoiding Theo, he hasn’t spoken to him in days, but the past few nights pass by nightmare free, and that scares Liam even more because there’s an itching under his skin telling him something has to go wrong soon. He hates it because as terrified as he is, he misses his boyfriends warm hugs and softly spoken words that normally lull him to sleep. 

He’s taken to ‘sleeping’ in the guest bedroom, although he hasn’t been doing much of that. The same four words keep playing themselves over and over in his head and Liam definitely isn’t ready to accept what he thinks they could mean. 

As he gazes out the window at the moon and the twinkling stars he wonders what he did to deserve this. And it’s kind is a selfish thought, but he can’t help but be frustrated. He’s made mistakes, but then so has everyone. And both he and Theo have done everything in their power to make up for their mistakes, but maybe it’s still not enough. 

He feels guiltily every day, not for being with Theo, but because Theo is trying to be better and he’s doing amazing, but Liam always has this nagging feeling like he’s not doing enough himself, like he’s dragging Theo down because he has things to make up for too.

The moon looks back at him, it’s only a half moon tonight. Liam laughs bitterly to himself because he can relate to it possibly more than ever before in this moment. He’s only half a person without his love, his anchor, the person he’s wired to need whenever he’s feeling out of control. But he’s pushing Theo away, and he can feel his wolf clawing at him from the inside, wineing at the hurt of being away from the chimera for even this short amount of time. 

He and his wolf have been in a never ending struggle for control for the time he’s been avoiding Theo. It sits and huffs when he refuses to go near the other boy, trying to tell him he’s doing something wrong but he’s too stubborn to accept that the wolf might be right. 

If he listens hard enough, he can hear the soft thump-thump of Theo’s heartbeat in the other room. It’s faster than normal but still manages to be perfectly synchronised with his own, it’s a comfort he refuses to believe he needs right now. 

He tosses and turns in the unfamiliar sheets until his restlessness finally gives way to exhaustion and he lets himself drift off to sleep.

————

_He’s not in the school this time, he can’t see but he can feel it. Somethings different. Something is very wrong. He’s freezing. Reaching down to place a hand over his abdomen, he finds that he doesn’t have a shirt on, a gust of wind blows and he shivers at the cold biting at his skin._

_The scent of blood once again hits his nose but this time it’s his own. He realises he’s been digging his claws into his palms and and tries to retract them, but his hands seem to have a mind of their own. He cringes through the pain and tries to focus on figuring out where he is._

_The ground is damp beneath his feet as he walks backwards, it feel like dirt. He jumps when his back collides with bark that scratches at his bare back, so he’s in a forest?_

_‘Wondering about the change in setting?’ The Anuk-ite croaks. ‘Use that werewolf hearing of yours Liam, tell me where you think you are.’_

_The sound of rushing water suddenly fills his ears, he walks forward cautiously and the ground feels different here. It’s cold, like stone and a lingering scent of cinnamon has Liam’s heart beating wildly in his chest because he knows where he is._

_‘Why am I here?’ He growls, fear evident in his voice making the monster cackle._

_‘Look at me and find out.’ Comes a reply, in a different voice again._

_‘Theo? No, this is some sick joke.’ His control over his own body is slipping, he wants so badly to look into the eyes of his mate. He curses himself for depriving himself of that._

_‘It’s not a joke baby wolf,’ He can feel Theo- no, the Anuk-ite coming closer to him, hands settle on his bare hips and their so warm. ‘Look at me.’ It doesn’t sound like a demand, not in Theo’s voice. It’s trying pull Liam in, make him trust it and it’s working._

_But how? How could this be, why would the Anuk- ite show itself as Theo, he can’t be afraid of Theo. He’s sick of this, his sick of being afraid of something that might not even be there, he could open his eyes now and it might not be Theo at all._

_‘You can do it Liam,’ he sounds desperate now, ‘do it! Open them!’ Liam ignores every instinct he has that’s telling him that this is a horrible idea, but he has to know so he gives in._

_And then the world feels like it's being ripped apart around him as he gazes back into the eyes of his one true fear. The person standing there is nothing but somehow everything he expected._

_‘You’ll never be good enough for this world Li.’_

And then he wakes up, screaming and gasping for air as the to now bright morning sunlight streams through the window, but Theo’s not there to comfort him. Theo’s not there ten minutes later when he’s still sobbing into the bedsheets that don’t quite smell like home. Theo’s not there thirty minutes later when he’s no longer making a sound, but tears are still flowing down his face like a river and he wants to throw up. Theo’s not there two hours later when he’s emptied his stomach, his throat is burning and he’s had too much time to think. The revelation if Theo being his greatest fear has him having no idea what to think anymore. 

Theos not there five hours later when he’s packed a bag and drives.

————

He never had a destination in mind, but somehow he ended up here, the same place where a literal nightmare took place for one boy, and for him a one made by his own subconscious. Leaning over the edge of the bridge he can’t help but wonder if it was always meant to happen like this, did he somehow know that he was afraid of Theo. 

No, how could he, he loves him right?

love makes us blind, a voice in his head chimed. But his wolf seemed to disagree, he could feel his eyes glowing yellow with the effort to push down his animals instincts to run to their anchor. 

He heard movement behind him and turned around, snarling and ready for a fight. His shoulders only tensed more when he realised who is was. 

‘How did you know I was here?’ He growled. 

Theo looked tired and fed up, his eyes held the same emotions as when Liam walked out on him a week ago. 

‘I didn’t,’ he replied in a small voice, his heartbeat didn’t waver, he wasn’t lying. But then, Theo hadn’t lied to Liam in a very long time. ‘That’s my spot, in case you forgot.’ He gestured vaguely to where Liam was standing in the middle of the old bridge and the sadness his words held made Liam back off a bit. 

He was about to say something but his mouth snapped shut when Theo shook his head at him. 

‘Can I just- where have you been Liam? And I don’t just mean you leaving today, I mean where have you been inside that beautiful head of yours? We’ve always supported each other since the war, I thought we were a team. But now you’ve drifted off somewhere and I’ve been trying to give you some space but,’ he took a deep breath, whole body shaking as he spoke and it made Liam’s wolf howl in grief to see him like this. ‘You’ve been gone and I know it sounds selfish but I need you, and I thought you needed me to.’ 

Liam was more than confused now, but something in him was still screaming danger danger! He kept hearing but he the Anuk-ite and the not quite Theo’s voice screaming in his head to open his eyes. But now they were open, what was he supposed to be seeing? Theo, his Theo was standing right in front of him looking so vulnerable as he waited for his lover to answer him. But he was rimmed with darkness, a darkness Liam now wanted to get away from. He turned his head away. 

‘It’s not the same! I- I can’t even look at you anymore!’ 

‘Why Liam?’ The other boy asked, he was right next to him now, reaching out a hand that Liam flinched away from. ‘Why can’t you?’ He shouted desperately, his frustration evident. Liam turned and punched him, sending Theo falling to the floor. 

‘The Anuk-ite, it's been coming to me in my dreams, and I opened my eyes to it Theo, when I looked at it, I saw you and you tell me that I’ll never be good enough for this world. Your my greatest fear!’ He screamed, his own words bringing him an indescribable agony, like something in him was cracking and being broken apart. 

Theo is crying, and Liam didn’t realise he was crying to until a tear hit his hand taking his attention away from the chimera still slumped on the ground. When Theo spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper.

‘Did you ever even consider that the thing I said in your dream might be what your afraid of, not me? I love you Liam, I thought you loved me enough to know I’d never hurt you.’ 

His head snapped back up and he thought about it for a second. He always wondered if all the good he was going would ever outweigh the bad, and it made sense. He stared at the blood dried under Theo’s nose and guilt crashed over him in tidal waves. He stumbled back into the forest floor before collapsing, his chest tightening and limiting his ability to breathe. His senses dulled and all that was left was the panic and fear that this was the final straw, Theo would never come back to him after this. It wouldn’t matter anyway, he thought, as black spots began to cloud his vision, he was going to die right here. 

But then strong arms curled themselves around his waist and he was pulled back into a warm chest. He could vaguely hear someone shushing him, calming words being whispered in his ear. They grounded him so he followed them until he could breathe again and make out his surroundings. 

The smell of safely, love, and home anchored him. He was pulled back to reality and was surprised to hear himself mumbling words of apology and sorrow over and over again. He felt Theo kiss his temple and gently turn him in his arms so they were face to face, he took Liam’s hand and placed it over his heart, using the other one to lift his chin to he was looking into Theo’s eyes.

‘The dream world can be a beautiful place Liam, it can make all your greatest wishes come true. But it can also trick you into doing things, thinking things, that you wouldn’t have otherwise. I know that better than anyone, so you don’t have to be sorry. But please, just talk to me. You don’t have to say anything now but I need you to know you don’t have to do this alone. I want to help you.’ 

He leaned forward and pressed their lips together softly, like he was afraid Liam might up and run away again. But how could he? In the arms of his lover he was right where he wanted to be. He pulled back slowly and gave Theo a shy smile that was returned instantly. ‘You don’t have to be afraid Liam, even if the entire world rejects us, you’ll still be more than good enough for me.’ 

He understood now, even though the nightmares and the fears would always be there, and all along there was someone who was willing to help. Someone he was good enough for. The thing that broke before was knitted into something new, something better. Liam felt stronger and he could tell Theo did too. They were going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the shitty ending but I needed it to be fluffy.


End file.
